10 Signs your Child is Adjusting well to a Separation or Divorce.

How do you know when your child has adjusted well to a divorce?

Here are ten telling signs that show.

  1. They look, behave, and talk as they always have.

  2. They ask questions about the divorce and changes ahead.

  3. They are comfortable talking about experiences with both parents. They are not intimidated or afraid to share stories about time spent with either parent.

  4. They maintain momentum at school. Dropping grades or school aggression are problematic signs.

  5. They continue with sports, classes, and other activities. If your child shows signs they no longer want to pursue activities they previously enjoyed, they may need help guiding through this transition.

  6. They talk about the future positively. They are excited about events ahead - birthdays, holidays, and vacations. If children are still showing signs of grieving “the way things used to be”, it may be time to seek help.

  7. They welcome signs of affection from you. Well-adjusted kids are happy to give and receive hugs, kisses, and words of encouragement. If they are avoiding contact or don’t respond to words of expression, they are sending a direct message.

  8. They openly talk about the divorce with you. Willingness to talk about the divorce and express opinions (negative or positive) shows your child feels free to express his/her feelings.

  9. They are not showing signs of stress. Sudden changes in physical appearance (weight loss or gain)

  10. They are not holding out hope that you and your spouse are getting back together. This is a common response for children at the beginning of the divorce. Look for signs of excessive crying and emotional reactions. This shows the child is still grieving over the divorce and may need to seek professional help.

Every family situation is unique and every child is different. Children often take one to two years to full adjust and to get over anger, sadness and other emotions. Divorce takes a toll on both parents and their children. We always recommend parents focusing their love and attention on their child’s well-being during the process. Seek professional help today to help your child navigate through the emotional pain of separation or divorce.

As always, we’re here to help.

Kurtis Gunter