Toxic Positivity

   Toxic. Positivity.

Two words that one would never consider to be pushed together. However, in the age of social media and constant filtered access into one another’s lives, this phenomenon has started to present itself in countless situations. Have you ever shared with a friend that you were having a bad day? Has your friend ever responded with “Don’t be sad, you could have it worse?” I think we can all admit that we have been on both sides of this conversation a time or two. Being positive in excess can be a problem. This leads to emotional suppression and denial of negative feelings.

When in therapy, more often than not individuals have a goal of being happier. Being happier and being more positive is not problematic until you aren’t able to cope with negative feelings. While the term ‘look on the bright side’ isn’t meant to have negative connotations, it can. As therapists, we like to tweak that goal a bit along the way. Instead of just being happier, one should work towards recognizing a negative emotion and giving ourselves the space to heal from it. Human emotions are real and raw. The ongoing pressure that they remain positive leads to the opposite of emotional validation.  There is no judgment in having felt pain. So next time a friend gives you a call and wants to share the unhappiness of their day, I challenge you to fight off the cheerful undertone and instead acknowledge that emotion. We can be sad about our today but still look forward to tomorrow. Positive vibes all day, every day would get boring! If you are wanting to further discuss, please reach out and inquire on our website.